Hanlon’s Razor – A Simple Shift + Great Results
Why most people aren’t out to get you—and how this one principle can change your perspective
Let’s be real, people can be frustrating. Your coworker forgets to reply to your email, your friend bails on plans last minute, or some stranger cuts you off in traffic like they have a personal vendetta against you. It’s so easy to assume the worst, that people are selfish, inconsiderate, or just plain rude. But what if I told you there’s a simple mental trick that can change how you see these situations, reduce your stress, and help you go through life with a little more peace of mind? Enter Hanlon’s Razor.
Hanlon’s Razor is a principle that says: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence, ignorance, or simple human error. In other words, most of the time, people aren’t out to get you—they’re just distracted, overwhelmed, or having an off day. Just like you.
My First Encounter with Hanlon’s Razor
I remember the first time I really put this idea into practice. I was working on an important project, and I had sent an email to a colleague asking for crucial data. Days passed. No response. I followed up, and still….nothing. My brain immediately went to, They’re ignoring me on purpose. They don’t care about my work. Are they trying to make me look bad? But then I paused and thought, Wait… maybe they’re just buried in their own work, or they missed the email. So, instead of firing off a passive-aggressive message, I walked over to their desk and asked politely. Turns out, my email had ended up in their spam folder. A completely innocent mistake.
That moment stuck with me because it made me realize how often we assume the worst when a much simpler explanation is right in front of us.
Why Hanlon’s Razor Matters
It Saves You from Unnecessary Stress
I used to get so frustrated when people flaked on plans. My go-to thought was, They don’t respect my time. But more often than not, my friends weren’t trying to be disrespectful, they just had things come up. Life happens. When I started giving people the benefit of the doubt, I noticed I was a lot less irritated by things outside my control.
It Makes You More Empathetic
Hanlon’s Razor isn’t just about reducing frustration, it’s about seeing people as human. We all mess up, forget things, or get caught up in our own lives. I once showed up late to a dinner with friends, completely frazzled from a long day. If they had assumed I was being inconsiderate, it would’ve been hurtful. Instead, they were understanding. That’s the kind of energy I try to put out into the world now.
It Helps You Take Control of Your Reactions
Mark Manson, in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck*, says: You are always choosing how to see the world, how to interpret events, and how to respond to them. When you apply Hanlon’s Razor, you take control of your own narrative. Instead of feeling like a victim of other people’s actions, you shift your mindset to something more constructive.
Being frank, it still happens to me from time to time, but now I react quickly to my own biases and stop them immediately. Reacting defensively is very human; it protects us, whether physically or emotionally; it's simply how we're wired to act for our own survival. Being aware is the key to instantly detecting when you might be overreacting in certain situations.
How to Apply Hanlon’s Razor in Daily Life
Pause Before Reacting – The next time someone does something that upsets you, take a moment. Ask yourself: Is there a simpler explanation for their behavior? Maybe they were just distracted, busy, or dealing with something you don’t know about.
Assume Good Intentions – Most people aren’t out to get you. They’re just trying to navigate their own lives, just like you. Instead of assuming hostility, assume humanity.
Communicate with Kindness – If someone’s behavior is bothering you, address it directly but with understanding. Instead of “You never listen to me,” try, “I feel unheard when I don’t get a response to my messages.”
Remember Your Own Mistakes – Think about times you’ve been the one who forgot to reply, made a mistake, or seemed rude without meaning to. If you’d want grace in those moments, why not extend it to others?
Use It for Self-Compassion – Hanlon’s Razor isn’t just about how you see others, it’s also a great tool for how you treat yourself. When you mess up, remind yourself that one mistake doesn’t define you. You’re human, and humans aren’t perfect.
My Take-away
At its heart, Hanlon’s Razor is about choosing optimism. It’s about understanding that most people, even when they frustrate you, are just doing their best. And when you start seeing the world that way, life gets a little lighter. You waste less energy on negativity, you strengthen your relationships, and you give yourself a break, too.
So, the next time someone cuts you off in traffic or forgets to text back, take a deep breath and ask yourself: Is this malice, or is it just human error? The answer might just change your day, and your perspective.