On What Drives Us
Some of my EOY 2025 reflections dumped into a single blogpost
Sitting in my in laws living room, I reflect on the past year and on my life as a whole. Again and again, I find myself wondering what motivates people, what drives them, and what makes them wake up every day.
It is true that some people lack motivation for a multitude of reasons. Some are understandable, others less so. I often find myself asking questions like these.
Why are people interested in culture? What do they derive from it? Why do they gather at operas and pay so much for such events (as I now watch one in TV)?
Why do people behave the way they do? Why do they say good morning, and why do they reply when wished a happy new year? Do we act out of decency, or out of habit? Do people genuinely enjoy receiving messages like greetings from someone, or being told that another person said hello and expects one in return?
I cannot help thinking that many of these actions are driven by a desire to be agreeable, liked, respected, or simply perceived well. This leads me to ask what actually gives life meaning, and what makes sharing moments with people we appreciate truly significant.
Over time, I have come to understand this more clearly. I have started to find answers and to form stronger conclusions based on what I observe and learn each day. What follows is a high level summary of what I currently believe.
I have come to believe that lasting motivation is primarily intrinsic. Happiness and other emotions, if we want them to endure, must come from within. External factors may influence how we feel, but only temporarily.
People tend to remember how you make them feel about themselves, rather than how impressive you are. What we call greatness is often nothing more than a reflection of the feelings we evoke in others.
That sense of greatness itself is usually sustained through consistent external validation, whether it comes from people, books/sources, or groups of like minded individuals.
Community provides a sense of belonging, regardless of its nature. It can be religious, educational, destructive, addictive, unhealthy, healthy, fitness oriented, or something else entirely. Communities validate how we think and what we believe. That validation creates the feeling of being right or on the right path. In reality, there is no objectively right or wrong path, only the one we choose to follow.
People tend to reject what they fear. Certain people or external triggers revive deeply rooted fears or past trauma, such as a violent parent, bullying, or an intense negative experience. When possible, we distance ourselves. We leave jobs, relationships, friendships, and sometimes even family, in an attempt to escape those feelings.
We can only overcome these feelings by facing them. Not by fighting them, but by accepting them and recognizing that avoidance often comes from fear. Experiencing fear or having lived through such situations is not inherently wrong.
I also believe that much of what we do is driven by a need to validate our own existence, including acts of kindness. I do not see this as inherently negative, but as a structural aspect of human behavior. The value we bring to others shapes how we perceive our own worth. We are constantly searching for value in a diverse and changing world.
As the world evolves, our doubts evolve with it, and our sense of self worth is continually tested. The only thing capable of sustaining our perception of value is ourselves, and we can only progress as far as our character allows. The idea of a single shared truth is appealing, but each path is personal. We must explore in order to discover our own direction, whether alone or alongside a community.
Ultimately, I believe that actions driven by self interest can still result in positive outcomes, such as supporting others in need in order to feel fulfilled. People often believe this separates them from figures like Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos, but I am not convinced the underlying driver is fundamentally different. Both act from personal motives. The difference lies in the outcomes they produce and how those outcomes are perceived by others. Perception matters, especially among those whose recognition we seek.
I want to end with a self reflective note. I need all of this too, perhaps in my own way. This need for acceptance and belonging is part of being human. Even if the circle is small, the desire to belong remains.
I feel proud of how far I have come, how much I have learned, and how much I have grown mentally and in wisdom. Awareness shapes how we respond to external triggers and how much control we allow them to have over us. The first step toward wisdom is learning to master ourselves, our emotions and our reactions. Life is not defined by what comes to us, but by what we give, how we respond, where we place our energy, and ultimately, by our thoughts.