On Being Busy, and Being Right

The other day I was submerged in work. I felt like an octopus - it was a combination of being overwhelmed and a strong feeling of satisfaction, because:

• I felt I was getting many things done.

• I felt I was useful to my team.

• I felt that I was in the trenches and with my hands full.

As a seasoned manager, it is rare to find myself in the trenches, as I’m used to being in endless back-to-back meetings. To me, this was a privilege: to do what I love with people that I enjoy working with.

At the same time, I can’t stop thinking whether feeling like this at certain times is right - whether it is right to feel “busy” without thinking much about the overall impact or outcomes rather than output.

Once upon a time, as a less experienced leader, I used to enjoy long periods submerged in things that, in the end, didn’t matter much. I felt I was accomplishing a lot, but looking back, I wasn’t.

I learned over time to be critical, to question the things my team(s) and I were doing, and to evaluate whether we were making the right bets for the team, company, and product.

To say it out loud: It’s simply easier to go on auto-pilot mode, to just get things done and stay in the comfort zone. It’s easier to feel and think that the things we’re doing are relevant and bringing value, or not?

The more experienced we get, the more we’re paid to optimize, organize, and analyze whether the direction we’re taking as a team and company makes sense. I tend to think that nobody really knows what they’re doing and that most of the job is making decisions and hoping to be right, or partially right, when all is said and done.

So now, I try to hold both feelings at once: the deep satisfaction of a day spent in the trenches, and the critical voice that asks if we’re in the right war. I’ve learned that the real work isn’t choosing one over the other, but learning to listen to both. The joy of doing tells me I’m engaged; the unease of questioning ensures that engagement actually matters.