The Psychological Trap You Didn’t Know You Were In, or?
(And how to escape it!)
We’ve all been there.
You’re mid-conversation when suddenly:
🦸🏽♀️ Hero Mode Activated ("I’ll fix this!")
😰 Victim Mode Engaged ("Why does this always happen to me?")
🦹🏼♀️ Villain Protocol Initiated ("This is obviously your fault")
Congratulations! you’ve entered the Karpman Drama Triangle, psychology’s most exhausting merry-go-round.
The 3 Roles That Keep You Stuck
(Spoiler: They all s*ck)
The Victim
Signature phrase: "Poor me!"
Secret agenda: Wants sympathy, not solutions
Telltale sign: Uses "always/never" language
The Persecutor
Signature phrase: "It’s YOUR fault!"
Secret agenda: Control through blame
Telltale sign: Critical parent energy
The Rescuer
Signature phrase: "Let me handle it!"
Secret agenda: Needs to be needed
Telltale sign: Burnout by Thursday
Fun fact: These roles rotate like a toxic game of musical chairs.
Why You Keep Playing
Feels familiar (thanks, childhood!)
Provides adrenaline hits of conflict/validation
Lets you avoid true accountability
The Escape Plan: Flip the Script
Real-life example:
❌ Old Pattern:
"You never listen!" (Victim)
"Well you’re irrational!" (Persecutor)
"Both of you, just—sigh—let me mediate" (Rescuer)
💡New Pattern:
"I’d like to communicate better, when’s a good time to talk?" (Creator)
"I want to understand your side" (Challenger)
"You’ve got this" (Coach)
Your Homework
Next time you feel drama brewing:
Pause
Ask: "Which role am I playing?"
Choose your upgrade
Pro tip: Awareness and recognition are the first steps to know when to stop playing this game
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